#276- Michael & Lauryn on Stress & Anxiety Transcription

The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast#276- Michael & Lauryn on Stress & Anxiety

Lauryn  20:44

Okay, let’s get back to the show. 


Lauryn  20:46

So, the next thing and I don’t care if I sound repetitive about this thing because it’s changed my life during quarantine and I believe it’s changed my husband’s as well. breathing exercises okay. I was meditating every morning for 10 minutes. I did it for three years. I noticed that I felt more zen, but I definitely noticed that it wasn’t a huge difference. breathing exercises is a whole different level. Wim Hof came on the podcast, he said four hours of meditation is equal to 10 minutes of breath work. And after doing it and being a practitioner of it, I would totally agree. Now here’s the secret ingredient. After you do his 10 minute breath exercise, it’s free, no strings attached on YouTube. I just go on his Instagram bio and click it super simple. I take a freezing cold shower, three minutes, freezing cold. Okay, I brush my teeth in the shower. I do my shower gel, I use my cleansing balm. I don’t wet my hair. I just let the freezing cold water flow over my body and now I’m even used to it. I put on a podcast and I set my timer for three minutes. That mixed with the breath has been so energizing and It only takes me 15 minutes to do the whole thing. Whereas I feel like meditation I would meditate and then I would take a long shower, and it was a hot shower and I wasn’t really like ready to go if you know what I mean. Meditation sort of puts me to sleep anyways. So I’ve taken a step back from meditation and I’m doing breathing every single morning 10 minutes I even do it with the baby the baby sits next to me and she like loves it. And then I take a freezing cold three minute shower and before you get into your next one, what do you feel about that? Because that’s helped my anxiety 


Michael  22:30

This is gonna be disappointing to learn because my next one actually had to do I sort of shot I’m not copying I’m sorry, you guys know but here let me let me tell you where it’s a little different. I haven’t tried to quit. my morning routine can’t last as long as yours. I mean, your morning routine is basically mid afternoon you know,


Lauryn  22:44

No it’s not 


Michael  22:45

morning lunch and mid afternoon. 


Lauryn  22:47

I need to have a morning routine that is the foundation or I get in a bad mood. 


Michael  22:53

So here’s what I do to switch it up. Actually I agree with you after having him on the show and practicing and you know, we started doing this. Right before we had him on the show, which is what triggered us having him on the show, the breathwork I do the same exercise the one I just go to wims bio on his Instagram and then click his breath work. But let me tell you how I do it. I go and I stand in front of my Joovv in my man cave for the whole time for 18 minutes, one of the Joovv, and then the breath works 10 minutes, and I’ve said this to you guys on the show. We’ve had the Joovv founders on this podcast, I use the Joovv every single day for those who don’t know what it is, it’s red light therapy. I stand in front of it, I do the breath work for the full 10 minutes front and back, you know, turning and turning like a rotisserie chicken. And, you know, I feel like with the lack of being able to get outdoors this year, while we’ve been in quarantine the Joovv has been a game saver so I do that with the breath work


Lauryn  23:42

If you want to see what he looks like but naked in front of the Joovv head over to my Instagram because there’s a naked back front back, back ass picture 


Michael  23:52

Listen, there’s a key to using the Joovv. I do it in the morning right when I wake up because of that red light therapy one it not it starts getting the circadian rhythm going


Lauryn  23:59

He’s right 


Michael  24:00

I get it helps with inflammation. It helps with recovery and anxiety. It helps a better skin. It helps with muscle recovery. It helps with your hormones it helps boost testosterone it helps it through libido


Lauryn  24:12

Pump your balls up 


Michael  24:13

Listen I mean, you guys have heard me talk about this Joovv go to joovv.com/skinny  that’s a bonus spot for you guys. Joovv. I know they listen sometimes bonus free don’t tell the other advertisers. But honestly guys I would check that out. I do the breath work there. And then right after that I followed up with the freezing cold cha I haven’t had a warm shower and what month and a half now 


Lauryn  24:32

Who told you about it. 


Michael  24:33

Yeah, but it’s weird because with the cold shower in the beginning it’s hard but then you start to crave it like I don’t even want a warm show. 


Lauryn  24:38

I don’t want a warm shower at night. I wind down with that like five minute warm shower at night. But in the morning, it’s only cold from here on out. I’ll never do a hot shower again. And I want to give you a compliment on air that I haven’t told you about. Did you know and this is true that taking a freezing cold shower every single day gets rid of those spider veins and capillaries.


Michael  24:58

Where are they


Intro  24:59

You had you had broken capillaries by your nose and they’re gone and it’s I was gonna tell you this the other day it’s because you’re taking those freezing cold showers so if you struggle with broken capillaries or spider veins, the freezing cold shower really helps with them. The freezing cold shower also tightens the fuck out of your face. That’s just a side note which is awesome.


Michael  25:20

Well, you know why it’s so good because it’s a hard thing to do in the morning. So you know you get other you get your breath work, you get your mind in the right place, then you jump in a freezing cold shower, and immediately it’s doing something hard, which helps man it helps get your stress down and it also helps you feel like you’ve got an accomplishment going and then you come out and you’re super sharp and onpoint and so you know I feel like it’s just a muscle where it’s like constantly putting yourself in discomfort to the point where you actually crave it and to me like it it’s definitely helped with anxiety. I’m not stressed in the morning I go in like completely aware and completely pumped up.


Lauryn  25:50

I can tell you right now and I like what sign off my life that I will never ever ever again in the morning. Not take a freezing cold shower. Are you on board with that After I’m addicted now


Michael  26:01

Yeah, I mean I have to do some combination of it and we went to a hotel this weekend and I did a combination of cold hot cold hot but you always end with the cold. 


Lauryn  26:08

Always in the cold. 


Michael  26:09

I didn’t want him with the hot it makes me too tired.


Lauryn  26:10

So you start with the cold then you go hot then you go cold.


Michael  26:13

Okay, okay, so you wanna go next year? Should I go into the next Oh, I want to get one first because I feel like you’re gonna keep getting them


Lauryn  26:19

okay, you’re gonna just keep reading mine note


Michael  26:21

No I’m not okay see yours, I came to tears like we’re all computers are like battleship I know but like B three B seven. Yeah, okay, now hit or not hit let’s hear well battleship people wondering what’s that? Like? You know, they’re like, Oh, that’s a good reference. Some people think what the fuckers battleship Alright, I’m gonna go on a tangent. We got to work out, gotta work out and sometimes you think I don’t work out as much but I’m working out my whole life and I better.


Lauryn  26:41

Thats a bit of an obvious one.


Michael  26:42

No, but it’s important because people slack on like, Oh, I’m in quarantine maybe like push ups. If you can’t do anything push ups, sit ups, dips and air squats and lunges. I do those pretty much every day. No matter what.


Lauryn  26:55

I agree with you on the working out. The second that we started quarantine I told myself Lauren, you’re not going to use this as an excuse, I literally have this conversation with myself to sit around and do nothing. So six to seven days a week, it’s on my calendar to work out whether it’s on Skype, or it’s evolved, or The Skinny Confidential body guide, or I’m doing an Instagram Live. And I’m always always walking. So 


Michael  27:19

sometimes people get overwhelmed with like, the big workouts and why I just mentioned that easy workout


Lauryn  27:23

Just workout at home


Michael  27:24

 The ones I just mentioned, you could do those in 15-20 minutes a day and get them in


Lauryn  27:28

No, I don’t buy that people don’t have time to work out. I think that I think when people tell me that they don’t have time to read and they don’t have time to work out, I don’t buy it. You make time, you make time you figure it out. And those are two things. One is expanding your mind and the other one is, in my opinion, expanding your body, your mind your spirit. I don’t know if expanding the right word but it’s, it’s it’s making you feel better and your wellness. Those two things are things that you can put 15 to 30 minutes aside a day.


Michael  27:55

Well listen, if you’re physically exerting yourself and you’re in, you’re in, you’re making yourself tired. And exhausted from doing it, you literally don’t have time in your mind to go and worry at the same time like have you ever been, you know, on a mile long run or running up a hill or doing a workout like you don’t start you don’t start stressing about like you’re actually exerting properly like you don’t have time to go, your mind doesn’t go to a place like oh my god, I got to worry about like, my husband or my wife or my kids or my job like you’re, you’re exerting yourself and so it’s scientifically proven that working out helps with anxiety, stress, depression, so why would you not do it? I know it’s hard, but that’s the point.


Lauryn  28:27

I like to do my workout and this is weird. Sorry, Michael. After my freezing cold shower. I like to do it in the morning after my freezing cold shower and then I do a warm shower at night. So you just like put up with me for the whole day. That’s where we’re at in quarantine. Okay, so the next one is that I talk about all the time that I can’t stop talking about is not checking my phone in the morning. I just this morning I made the mistake on a Monday and you never fuck with the Monday do not fuck with a Monday. Okay? 


Michael  29:00

I knew something was wrong with you this morning. 


Lauryn  29:01

I checked my phone this morning when I woke up, it derailed my whole day


Michael  29:06

and derailed my whole day to don’t do that. Yeah,


Lauryn  29:07

I’m so sensitive to it now, because I’m so used to not checking my phone, I went in and checked my text messages. And I truly had 105 text messages when I woke up. And it was all fires that needed to be put out. And I just went on this tangent of just checking all this stuff, and I shouldn’t have done it. So my tip is, don’t check your phone for an hour to two hours in the morning. Honestly, I wake up at seven I don’t touch my phone unless it’s to turn on a podcast or music or to read and I prefer to read a regular book. But if I have to read I’ll read off my phone, but I will go straight to the book app. I don’t even if you open those damn text messages or your email, forget it. You’re done. You’re done.


Michael  29:50

I’m gonna I’m gonna say my fifth and sixth one because it’s gonna I swear to God, I don’t we must be super insane like but so I’m gonna blend mine together here because it doesn’t seem to copy but I swear to God, I swear I didn’t see yours I don’t know what you’re doing. But mine it’s not it hasn’t I could be better at not looking at the phone in the morning cuz I’m one of the worst. Be honest. You have a guest on here every time we’re like and you wait for them to be more like Lauren looks like a kid on Christmas when a guest comes on the show and says don’t check your phone in the morning and she she turns and stares at me like I haven’t heard at


Lauryn  30:17

The blue night gives me anxiety and UPS my cortisol in the morning when you’re on your phone.


Michael  30:22

You do that listeners to call out whenever a guest comes on as much —


Lauryn  30:26

Yeah, I do because I’m trying to give you every hint in the whole entire world to stay off your phone in the morning. It’s so counterproductive.


Michael  30:33

Im not perfect. I’m close to it, but I’m not really yeah. Anyways, I’m just kidding. But here’s one thing that’s kind of in line with that I have a rule that I do not check and respond to emails more than three times a day. So before you jump in, you’re gonna say no, I see you looking at it. That’s a different. 


Lauryn  30:49

That is such a lie. 


Michael  30:49

No, it’s not a lie. It’s not it’s not a lot you


Lauryn  30:51

You refresh your email.


Michael  30:52

No, no, I look at what’s coming in. But I do not sit down on a computer. I pick morning, midday and afternoon and my team will tell you, they’ll get emails from typically at those times, because I’ll see what’s coming in, but I never ever work on somebody else’s inbox To Do List ever. I always set specific times in the day that I choose to respond to emails, typically that’s in the morning, between nine and 10. When my workday starts my official workday when my team’s in there when I’m working, typically around lunchtime, and then typically when the workday is over between like six and seven is when I get in, I find that people that live in their inbox and are constantly responding as soon as something comes in, you’re constantly working on somebody else’s schedule. As a matter of fact, learn if you want to call me out, I will sometimes not even respond to emails at all if it’s an email, but somebody just reaching out and asking me to do something that is not to my benefit or not to my team’s benefit or just not to benefit to respond. Sometimes it just goes in the trash and it’s not to be rude. It’s that if I can give 110% or something 110% to something I don’t sometimes don’t get a response. It’s impossible then and we’ve gotten to this place I’ll even throw text in there where where people think because they get a text or an email, they have to respond to it


Lauryn  31:59

Lets go off on a tangent about texts because this is something I’ve really wanted to talk about this is a little tangent. Okay? If someone texts me, or you or anyone, do not expect a text back immediately, and if I do or you do text back immediately, it doesn’t need to be this conversation like you’re on the phone. I sometimes take two to three to four weeks to respond to a text. I don’t and Glennon Doyle talks about this in her book, I don’t believe that just because someone sends a text that they deserve an immediate text back. You’re when you’re texting someone, you’re coming into their space and asking for their time. So in my opinion, you should know your time. 


Michael  32:45

Now you’re talking about text here and emails, but I actually consider this with all human interaction. 


Lauryn  32:50



Michael  32:50

Even someone walking up and saying, like, hey, like if they walk into my office or they’re walking down the street or they see me like any type of human interaction that starts off with some coming in and asking for your time, out of nowhere without a plan in place without a request doesn’t necessarily get a response for me. And it’s not that I’m trying to be rude. It’s that I’m trying to not let somebody down later by not being able to fully commit. And I think we’ve gotten to a place here, where we all because we’re so connected on email and text, and phone and all these platforms that people are feeling obligated to respond to everything and it’s just not humanly possible. 


Lauryn  33:26

Yeah, it’s not humanly possible. And honestly, I have to be honest, what’s the day today, June 20, I have not responded to my birthday text. On my birthday, I think when you’re celebrating your birthday, I do not want to be on my phone, responding to text messages all day long. So on my birthday, I put my phone away. And I still haven’t responded to all the text messages 


Michael  33:46

This year I got and actually so here’s a good example. And listen, I don’t want to get into a negative space because there’s gonna be a lot of people here that have a hard time with this, like you should respond to everything and, and what I say to those people is, you know, yes to a certain point, but say you have 1000 messages a day. For 1000 different things like, are you able to respond to everything and give it full, full force.


Lauryn  34:04

Also I think when you, when you bring life into this world, you have a baby to take care of it. Ryan Holiday talks about this, when he’s spending time on other people’s to do list, it’s taking away from time that of the person that he loves at home with his kids. 


Michael  34:18

Yes, but the reason I mentioned this and why it’s relevant to this episode is it’s all about managing stress and anxiety. And if you have a to do list that’s not yours, that’s, you know, 50 other people that’s not concentrated in one place, and it’s 50 different things in 50 different directions that’s going to contribute to stress and anxiety in your life. And so, to minimize that, you have to be selective about the things you choose to respond to. In but and also when you choose respond, you have to know that you can commit 110% because there’s nothing worse, like say, someone asked me something like, hey, Michael, can you give me advice, and I choose to respond, I need to make sure that I give 110% of that to that advice, because if I don’t then I’m letting that person down, which does what contributes to more stress, more anxiety to me, it doesn’t help that other person which stresses them out and gives them anxiety. So I think we have to be selective here. And so the point of me saying this is that it’s not about being rude. It’s about making sure that if you’re having a social interaction with someone or you’re responding to something or you’re jumping in that you actually can commit because if not, you’re going to be stressing yourself out stressing them out. You’re gonna get anxiety. It’s not worth it doesn’t play out here. anyone’s favor,


Lauryn  35:17

Little break to give you a hot tip. Okay, Zaza has been doing this thing, where she pulls out my hair. So not only am I having postpartum thinning hair, which everyone experiences after the birth of a baby, but she’s also pulling out my hair. The other day, it was like in her knuckles and her fingers 


Michael  35:34

That makes two of us man


Lauryn  35:36

Okay, everyone’s yanking on my hair. So Nutrafol sent me a while ago, their products to try out. Basically, their whole entire mission is to help you grow thicker, fuller, healthier hair, which is exactly what I need right now. Like I said, I have damaged hair from styling tools since I use so many styling tools and also postpartum hair loss and then between Zaza pulling the hair out, it’s gnarly. So I really have focused on finding a product that helps my hair grow thicker. You should also know that 30 million women are experiencing hair loss, but not a lot of people talk about it. So this is something that was important to talk about on my platform. I feel like talking about this and talking about these kinds of issues is important because we’re constantly trying to change the conversation. Just to give you some specifics. Nutrafol is formulated with potent botanicals to help your hair grow as strong as you are. Everything is physician formulated, and it’s 100% drug free. All you have to do to start is you just visit Nutrafol.com and you take their hair wellness quiz and basically it customized the product for you. So I went on I just clicked what I’m experiencing and then they like picked the product for me right then in there, which was amazing. You can grow thicker, healthier hair and support The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Show by going to Nutrafol.com and using promo code skinny to get 20% off. This is their best offer available anywhere you should know. plus free shipping on every order, get 20% off and Nutrafol.com promo code skinny spelled Nutrafol.com promo code skinny for hair as strong as you are. 

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